The Car Line Commandments


The car line.

It’s the last week of school, and if there has been one thing I’ve learned this year about being an elementary parent, it is there is a set of unspoken rules when one is a steady member of the car line.

The car who makes an “illegal” right turn into the parking lot? The future subject of scorn and target of mind bullets from other mamas.

The car whose automatic doors don’t open quickly enough because mom forgot to put the vehicle in park? The subject of rolled eyes and impatient school employees loading kids into cars.

I’ve watched mind bullets from other parents fly, and have been on the receiving end of those rolling eyes.

The car line is not for the faint of heart. Or the highly distracted driver. (Hi! That’s me!)

So I’ve put together these commandments for the rookie parent to reference next fall. Because you’ll need them.

So I wish you good luck, Upcoming Kinder Parents…

And may the odds be ever in your favor.


The 10 11 Car Line Commandments:

  • Thou shalt not park in the designated car line area if your child is a walker. (Can I get an AMEN?!?)
  • Thou shalt not covet other, newer models of the minivan.
  • Thou shalt pack a plethora of snacks, books, and DVDs for students and younger siblings.
  • Thou shalt not honk.
  • Thou shall pay attention at all times. ALL TIMES.
  • Thou shalt not yell at the crossing guard. He/she is your lifeline to getting to the front quickly.
  • Thou shalt not yell at pedestrians to walk faster. (Even though they should.)
  • Thou shall stay in your vehicle.
  • Thou shall put your van in park BEFORE opening doors for children.
  • Thou shalt not shall not speak to your child (minus a quick “put on your seatbelt!”) before pulling away.
  • Thou shalt not forget to relieve oneself in the restroom before entering the car line.
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