When Preschool Mama’s Attack

So I’ve been meaning to post this, but just haven’t yet….probably due to the fact that I was dreading re-living this day. It’s now two weeks later, and I’ve recovered. Enjoy.

Sabcso today I experienced what I believe to be the first of MANY weird sacrifices I will most likely make for my daughter. What did I sacrifice? Oh, ya know….only my LIFE.

Let me start at the beginning…

Bryant and I made the decision to enroll McKenna in pre-school this fall. Yes – she’ll only be a little over a year old, but we want to provide us a break her with every opportunity to learn and grow to her full potential, as any parent would. Besides, she needs to get out of the house and hang out with kids other than Bryant. (Yes – that was a lame jab in my husbands direction. 😉 Just go with it.)

So we did minimal a lot of shopping around for day cares and pre-schools. We chose Hope Preschool. I like this program mainly because it is an actual SCHOOL and not just day care. Plus, it’s a part of a church, so the teachers there HAVE to be nice to my kid, right??

Like any school beginning in the fall, registration for new families is in the spring. February 1st at 5:00pm, to be exact. I planned on showing up right around 5:00, maybe 4:50-4:55 if I was feeling over-zealous. No big deal, right?


At the “Open House” Bryant & I attened, staff members “nonchalantly” mentioned how there are only 14 spots available for MK’s age. Oh, and how last year registration opened at 8am and people started lining up at 3am to get in.

3. In the AM.


So in order for McKenna to “get in,” I had to go wait in line FIVE hours prior to the start of registration. I guess I didn’t realize this wasn’t like public school, where they’ll take any hooligan child who walks through the doors.

To top off the annoyingness, the 1st was a Monday, so that meant Bryant & I would have to strategically plan our day accordingly if we wanted McKenna to get in to this program. Turns out Bryant had stuff to do that day, and I, of course, had work.

Luckily, my boss is super-cool and I can work from my laptop pretty much anywhere. So she gave me the go-ahead to sit in line with my computer. (Plus, she has a year and a half year old little boy whom she’s had on a preschool waiting list PRIOR to his birth. She totally gets it.) So my mom came into town to help babysit McKenna that day while Bryant did his thing and I did my pre-school wait-in-line-for-hours thing.

Here’s the basic run down of the day:

8:00am. I’m not taking any chances….drive to the church, backpack loaded down with my computer and work to be done. Nobody’s here and doors are locked. Hmm… It would have been easy to set up shop right then, but with no power outlet, my computer is likely to go on strike. Ugh. Oh well. I’ll go home and return in a couple hours. (There is NO WAY I am waiting in the 32 degree Memphis weather for 8-9 hours).

10:15am. I’ve eaten breakfast and got a jump start on emails. Feeling good. Head back to the school with my computer. Nobody’s in the parking lot and doors are still locked. Didn’t they say to get here “early?” What the heck?! I thought so too… alright, maybe I’ll come back again in a couple hours.

12:00pm. If I go over there and the doors are locked ONE MORE TIME after packing up all my work crap, I will freak my freak. Time to pick up the phone and call. Dial. No answer. Alright – doors must be locked. I’ll wait a little while longer. I have more emails to catch up on anyway…

2:00pm. Ugh. I should probably check again to see if it’s open yet. I only live one mile from the place, so I’ll drive over and if it’s open, I’ll come back and get my computer. Hop in the car, with no computer.

2:02pm. AHH!! Pre-School Mama’s (known here on out as PSMs) are lined up waiting in their cars!! Aw, HELL NAH!! They are NOT going to beat me in line today! I’ve already been here multiple times, so technically, I was here before them! I park my butt right in the middle of a line of cars. Time to sit and wait.

2:15pm. Alright, I need to get some work done, but can’t risk moving from this spot. Call the husby and ask him to bring my computer. I start strategizing my sprint when they unlock the school doors. Good thing I wore running shoes…

2:17pm. Who does that PSM think she is getting OUT of her car and walking up to the door? You JUST drove up! There’s NO WAY you’re going to be allowed to cut in front of the rest of us, who have been sitting in our cars and ever-so-politely-ignoring-each-other-while-working-on-our-plan-of-attack.

2:20pm. Janitor sees PSM outside locked door and let’s her in!!! OMG!! Time to get serious! Sorry, husby – you’re gonna have to find me inside. All of us PSMs jump out of cars simultaneously. I speed walk/borderline run to the now unlocked doors. Victory. I beat them all. (See? I KNEW all that half-marathon training would pay off.)

2:25pm. I park myself fourth back in line . (Annoying, I know. But the PSM who walked up to the door first had her sister and a friend with her, so I felt bad ordering them to the back of the line. Hey – I’m a nice person, alright? BUT no worries. Their kids are all older than mine, so I am still FIRST in line for McKenna’s age group. BOOYAH!)

2:30pm. Bryant shows up with the computer and a yummy Lenny’s sandwich. Jackpot. Now I can feed my face and get some more work done.

3:00pm. Whoa, now. The line has more than DOUBLED in size. PSMs keep showing up, gawking at the length of the line and trying to cut. (In their defense, the line faced the direction of the door, so it looked like the front was actually the back. I don’t really know how that happened, but it did. I guess I was a part of that annoying strategy.) Don’t worry, these PSMs were quickly shot down by the five of us who were in the very front.

shutterstock_1490770943:15pm. A rather upscale-looking PSM arrives and stands non-chalantly on the other wall opposite me. Not making eye contact with anyone, she sets her over-sized Fendi handbag on the floor and leans against the wall. Myself and a few other PSMs look at each other with an evil gleam in our eyes. Oh yes. We understood alright. This PSM was planning on making a last second dash for the front, without claiming her rightful spot at the BACK of the line. Myself and the pack of PSMs at the front could not – would not – allow this. We’d better go in for the kill early. The fearless leader of our line politely, yet forcefully, informed the out-of-line-Fendi-PSM the end of the line was “back that way” with an extended and emphatic arm point.

Loooonnng (and awkward) pause.

Out-of-line PSM hesitates (to decide a new plan of action, no doubt), then slowly leans down to grab her bag with a mumbled (grumbled?) “thanks.” She unwillingly waltzed her way to the back of the line and took her spot. Whew. Crisis averted. Someone could have gotten hurt. Glad she didn’t put up a fight or it could have gotten nasty.

4:55pm. Fast forward to almost 2 hours and a plethora of PSMs later. A preschool administrator shows up. The line of PSMs get restless and antsy.

5:00pm. Administrator takes registration forms and our hard-earned, yet non-refundable, registration money.

5:48pm. I walked up to the desk with a huge smile and my forms. Administrator takes them and says, “Thank you. Have a good night.”

Wait………That’s IT?

My entire life today, wasted away in a church parking lot and hallway and that’s all I get??

SIX words??

high-fiveI feel as though I should have received some sort of certificate. Or, at the VERY LEAST, a “HIP HIP HOORAY!” and a high five!

Hmpf. They are rather anti-climatic at this school, if you ask me.

Moral of the story: I think I’d rather wait in line for Miley Cyrus tickets (Gag me!). At least I’d have some immediate gratification. And Hope PreSchool had BETTER accept her for my day of lack of work done that day and the torment I endured sitting on that hard church floor with the other PSM’s.

Or else…. (really, “or else” nothing. I’m a lot of talk and not a lot of action in the threat department.)

Tune in next month for the announcement of her acceptance or rejection.

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