What I Learned about Life From the Club

I’m a dancer. I danced and cheered most of my younger years and even taught some cheer and dance classes throughout college summers and after graduation. I just have always loved to dance. So naturally, that’s my inclination whenever I hear music. In fact, I’m sitting in Starbucks right now swaying to The Chainsmoker’s Closer in my earphones as I type this. (The corporate FedEx employee sitting next to me sipping his fancy latte is judging me like a champ. But whateves … 😉 )

Once I was old enough to frequent bars and clubs (Gasp! Yes, I did this often.), my main goal in going there wasn’t to drink, but to hang out with friends, listen to music and dance.

I remember one night a certain friend came with me, but refused to get on the dance floor. She was embarrassed because she didn’t consider herself to be a great dancer. So I shared with her my dance club wisdom, a golden nugget of information I learned almost immediately after reaching the appropriate age to frequent dance clubs.

Nobody is watching you.

They are too worried about themselves and their own moves to care about yours.

Now that I’m not visiting the club anymore, but instead am jumping around my living room to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (if I happen to have enough energy), I realize this rule still applies to everyday life.

People are too wrapped up in their own next move to worry about what your’s looks like.

This goes for most situations and scenarios.

Think about it … and think about yourself too. How often are you thinking about what others are doing more than your own actions or how those other people’s situation affects you?

I venture to say, probably not too often.

Okay, okay … to say that all behavior is self-directed would be mis-leading, however, even charitable acts and thoughts tend to have a self-altruistic motive. Personally, I know I receive emotional rewards when I help other people. I love the look on someone’s face and the feeling I get when I have been a help to someone. Even though something was done for someone else, there is most often a self-motivated reason behind it.

For the record, I think this is okay … it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I believe Jesus rewards us with these emotions when we help others.

The only person who truly loved selflessly was Jesus. He is the only one who authentically cares about what you are doing.

So why is this important and why is it a good thing?

Because we can finally let loose. We have nothing to prove, my friend.

Things you hear from others and things they do are almost always self-motivated and should not be taken personally. Things you worry about doing but hold back because they might think you’re crazy should be something you go for.

We can get off the sidelines, get on the floor and dance. We can stop hiding behind our perfectly organized homes, our perfectly-shot Instagram photos and our perfectly obedient kids.

Walk up to that other mom in the park and strike up a conversation about why your kiddo decided to eat dirt at the playground again. Invite her over for coffee despite the fact you’ve run out of cream and sugar, then post a picture or video of your kids on social media playing around the mountains of laundry on the couch and on the peanut-butter smeared floors.

We have to risk exposure before we can feel free and enjoy the music of life.

People crave authenticity, so do that for them. And above all, do it for yourself. Because it’s in the messy, non-perfect moments that we get to experience the authentic relationships He has perfected for us.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, (Psalm 30:11)


Jennie Allen’s new book, Nothing to Prove, released TODAY, and I have a copy to give away to one lucky winner!

All you have to do it follow the 3 SIMPLE steps below.

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Good luck, everyone! A random winner will be picked on Friday!! (I’ll comment below with the winner and share on my Facebook page & Instagram.)

 

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7 Comments

  • Reply Robin January 31, 2017 at 8:38 am

    This is so true! Nobody cares but I wish I felt I had nothing to prove and would just invite that friend over even if the house is a mess! In all honesty I think it’s more that I’m trying to prove to myself that I can be the lady/mom whose house is always spotless, kids always have planned activities, and always cooks a homemade meal (yes I have a friend like this!). But because I’m not actually that person I don’t normally have anyone over unless I’ve had plenty of time to prepare my home for them to be impressed by how clean and organized it is.

    • Reply Kristin February 2, 2017 at 6:49 am

      YES! I find myself trying to prove it to MYSELF too! Good point!! 🙂

  • Reply Gail Dusa February 3, 2017 at 8:28 am

    At 70 I am still learning and practicing this concept. The most exciting times in my life were when I took the risk to not worry about what others think. And still, I tidy up before someone comes over. What is going on in my head? Haha, I am listening to my mom in my head. How can it be that I am still worried about what she is (would be) thinking if she were alive. Interesting eh…trying to please a person or prevent the criticism of someone who is not alive is crazy! Not too old to learn. Excellent post, Kristin.

  • Reply Cindy Clark February 3, 2017 at 9:36 am

    Haha! This is great! I am full of imperfect moments so I guess I’ve got a good head start. And I don’t mind laughing at myself over it! 😉

  • Reply Ashley Fisher February 3, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    I would totally love to win this book and your posts are always amazing!

  • Reply Kelly Franks February 3, 2017 at 2:29 pm

    I think I learned most is to be authentic and genuine. I was one of those vlub dancers that was always worried about what others thought and I think it still happens now. I think I miss out on things bc I’m so worried what others might think. Need to work on that!!

  • Reply Lux G. February 7, 2017 at 1:01 am

    Profound lessons learned from the club. Nice!

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