A Serious Epidemic

Oh my gosh, y’all. Our entire house is sick! It started with MK. I’m not sure where she contracted it, but there has now been a serious outbreak in our home. I went ahead and googled it, as well as checked WebMD, and it looks like MK has come down with a serious case of ‘Whiney-Butt.’

Y’all… I’m worried. Seriously. The ‘Whiney-Buttness’ has taken over our entire lives in trying to control the frequent outbreaks. Bryant & I have no idea what to do. Even the normal sick-ness remedies — cuddling, snuggling, stuffing the child’s face with comfort food/drinks/toys, highly medicating — have little to no effect, and often times even result in completely disastrous and colossal meltdowns.

Has anybody else ever gone through this with their child? What is even worse is this terrible disease seems to be contagious and has begun to spread and cause an epidemic of ‘The Butts’ in our home. With myself, it’s morphed into a semi-serious case of ‘Bitchy-Butt.’ And this, my dear friends, is NOT okay. I am normally easy-going, care-free, and very tolerant of other people’s shenanigans.

However, being infected with ‘Bitchy-Butt’… oh my… you can’t even imagine the intolerableness I have for stupid sh*t slightly dense actions from other people. I have been trying to go into loner-mode the past few days, not risking infecting others, but this week starts lots of activities where both myself and MK will be out and around people…

Luckily, Bitchy or Whiney-Butt hasn’t infected Bryant…. yet. But he has it coming. I can tell. His normally extensive length of patience has indeed become much shorter, and I fear ‘Raging-Butt’ may make an unwelcome appearance in the near future.

I’m praying ‘The Butts’ leave us soon, so maybe others won’t be infected. Have any of you ever gone through this with your child or yourself? Please tell me how to rid our home of this horrible-ness!

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