16 Signs You Live with a Cyclist

  1. Every time you open a kitchen cabinet, at least one water bottle falls on you.
  2. Your house has sporadic spots of black, greasy fingerprints.
  3. There are safety pins all over your kitchen counter, in your washing machine, and in every drawer.
  4. July mornings are spent in front of the television.
  5. July afternoons are spent in front of the television.
  6. Social media is avoided in July, until the day’s stage is watched online.
  7. Haircuts only come once a helmet doesn’t fit anymore.
  8. Regular clothing is only bought if it matches pre-existing kit tan lines.
  9. You begin to not only understand, but also speak a new language and use terms such as “bridge up” and “grab a wheel” in everyday conversation.
  10. Items/equipment that should be kept in garages, stay bedside.
  11. Heart rate monitor straps live in your laundry basket and you don’t even flinch at a sweaty chamois.
  12. All “vacations” become centered around cycling routes.
  13. In your mind, it has become socially acceptable the cyclist, most often, has smoother legs than you.
  14. You buy stock in PowerBar.
  15. You buy stock in Gillette.
  16. You buy stock in Clorox.

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