10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-At-Home-Mom

I’ve done a little bit of it all in my few years as a parent. I’ve been a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, a stay-at-home mom, a work-from-home mom…

And no matter the circumstances, there are just some things you never, EVER say to a mom – any mom. Especially a mom who is trying her damnedest to be the best she can be —  at the mom thing, the working thing, the friendship thing, the wifey thing, ALL THE THINGS.

It’s hard.

And while encouragement and advice are (most of the time) welcome to the Trying Her Damnedest Mom, there are just certain things that ought not be said out loud.

So here is Part I of my Things Never to Say to a Mom series, starting with the Stay-at-Home Mom.

10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-At-Home-Mom

1. What do you do all day?

Watch Netflix. After my nap, of course. Duh.

2. You’re so lucky.

Agreed. I can’t think of a bigger blessing than being expected to pick-up after other humans all day, wipe butts, and not get paid money for it. I am very lucky.


3. Do you regret wasting your degree?

My first day as a SAHM, I threw a party with all my toddler friends and we burned my diploma. It was exhilarating. Because now I’ll never have the chance to use it. Ever. It’s gone. I am no longer educated and all degrees are null and void.

4. How come dinner isn’t made yet? (Also sometimes disguised as “Why isn’t the laundry folded and put away?”)

Because wine. That’s all I want for dinner.


Wine: it’s what’s for dinner.

5. Gosh, I bet your house is so clean.

Yep – I clean it everyday. Just like I shovel snow from the sidewalk while it’s still snowing. Or brush my teeth while eating oreos. Or wiping while still using the restroom.


6. Will you ever get a real job?

Alright, Home-slice. I have to say it…

Managing feces covered rear-ends and spaghetti stained walls? (The troubleshooting handbook is well-used.)

This is as “real” as it gets.

7. I couldn’t do it. I think I would need more to fulfill me.

I’m glad you recognize that too. Because for me, watching little people grow and mature and learn and make their way into the real world is totally dissatisfying.

8. You must have so much free time!

I totally do! After my 4:30am wake-up call from the youngest, and then feeding, dressing, bathing, feeding, entertaining, cleaning, chauffeuring, feeding, cleaning, bandaging, feeding, chauffeuring, paying bills, feeding, cleaning, comforting, teaching, feeding, cleaning and managing other people’s lives, I have plenty of time for none of my own personal needs and wants.

9. Do you ever get bored?

I don’t have time to answer this … there’s a toddler in my dining room swinging from the chandelier. Please reference the above answer.

10. So, you’re just a mom?

Yep. Exactly like you just sit at a computer all day. And you just make sales all day. And you just count numbers all day. And you just manually provide labor. And you just do whatever it is you do while at your “real” job.

There ain’t no “just” about this gig. Instead, I get to do this.

I get to spend hours with people who love me. I get to teach my children everyday. I get to snuggle my children everyday. I get to wear yoga pants to work if I want to. I get to experience all my children’s random, exciting and funny moments. I get to spend hours with the people I love the most. And I get to be everything to each of them.

I get to change their lives.

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  • Reply Sarah Travis January 6, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Love this Kristin! When May rolls around and baby arrives I will say…I GET to do this 🙂 I imagine I’ll hear some of these comments in the coming months and years and that will be my response…I GET to be a Stay at Home Mom! <3

  • Reply Liz January 6, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    Sometimes being a SAHM makes me long to return to my gig in the Army! The pay was better, the hours were shorter (not counting deployments), and I actually was praised for my work! But then I’d miss homework hour…Ahhh… Homework hour – there should be hazardous duty pay for this!

  • Reply Kelly Basham January 7, 2016 at 10:41 am

    Thanks for sharing Kristin. I have been a SAHM for over 20 years so I have had my fair share of questions. It’s been hard but I don’t regret a second of it. By the way, I love #9!

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